{me again}

High desert sun, cold sharp breeze, winter brown grasses and summer blue sky; 

Harsh smell of spring on brightly chilled air, pounding of heart, wind on hair;

I run.

Limping gait, rippling lake, lagging dog, dragging my mind from fog; push past pain. 

Gasp, dry rasp, parched throat, burning arms, chilled legs, shed coat;

I spread my sun-starved bare soul.

Slow gained speed, aching knees, heart breaks free,

           I’m almost me again.

Poetry and photography by me

{day-dreams}

Some days were just made for day-dreams. Every one of these photographs catapults me into thoughts of adventure and romance. Every one tells a story of long lost hopes and treasures found. Every image is packed with imagination as my fancy takes flight on gossamer wings. If we must have Mondays, let them be filled with day-dreams, please!

Images via: fbcdn, flickr, milly and her..., modern hepburn, a1 pictures

{december}

Welcome, December! May you be white and sparkling and full of family, feasts, and flurries galore!

Images via: wasabi sabi, voyeur chic, for emma, moglio 

{wander off the edge}

Again we say goodbye to another month and embrace the next with open arms and a hint of surprise.

Have a wonderful week full of wandering thoughts and dreams!

Images via: unknown, for readheads, marley and me, tumblr

{suddenly, subtly}

Fall is here. 

It came in subtle shifts, with slightly tilted filtering light, with daily cooler mornings and increasing blankets on the bed.

It came with ferocious swiftness, with torrents of rain and days on end without any sun at all. It came in floods of water and a deluge of sudden sweaters and hot drinks.

It came quickly and yet is coming slowly, with the sweet smells and sounds of falling water and now with brilliant afternoons and the bluest skies and an undefined longing for cold weather and summer's freedom all mixed up and confused inside me. 

Everything is confused, in fact. I am filled to the brim with joy and plans and dreamy hopes. I am overflowing with sadness and despair and the sudden sinking feeling that my castles are all made of air.

Fall is here, burning out the year in a flaming whisper. How did we get here, so far from the first hopes of Spring? And yet, what a glorious phase we have before us! 

Thanks for sticking with me through my stages of silence.

Images via: zsazsa bellagio, apartment therapy, elfsacks, justina blakeney

To my future-ones

Hello you, whoever you are.

I cannot wait to meet you. I am just dying to finally hold you and know you and live every day with your sweet young self.

I don't much care who you turn out to be, as long as you're finally mine. There are just a few things I want for you:

I want you to be carried in my own womb, grown in my own body, a mysterious mixture of your father and me. I want to see his eyes and my hair and hopefully his gentle temperament and fierce loyalty blended perfectly into a person who's all you. I want to carry your weight and feel you kick and bring you into the world with my own sweat and pain and tears.

But I also want to find you, adopt you, bring you home and watch you grow from a perfect stranger to finally be my very own perfect someone. I want to see my heart rise up and shine out of your eyes as you use the compassion I will teach you. I want to see my old childhood dresses and old childhood games on a frame so different from my own. I want to earn your love, to rescue and protect you and to know that God's perfect plan has brought us together from the ends of the earth. I want to bring you into our family through sacrifice and faith and persistence and so much love.

I want to brush your hair with my fingers and rub your cheeks against mine. I don't care a bit what color they are, and I cannot wait to find out. You will be so beautiful to me.

I can already sense the wonder I will feel as I watch you learn to run and dance and love. I want to just watch you, being you, for hours on end. My eyes and my heart are aching as I imagine how you're going to look, and act, and be.

I want so many of you. I want boys and girls and twins and I want us all to tussle and love and protect each other forever. I want to sing to you and pray with you and lay in the grass watching clouds with you. I want to teach you so many things and learn from you. To read to you and travel with you and stay home under blankets and cuddle you. I want to chase you in parks and catch you in fields and tumble into streams with you. I want to wipe your tears and comfort you. I want to watch you sleeping and feel my heart burst at the seams with the very joy of you.

I'm waiting and hoping and praying for you, my little ones.

I'm imagining you right now in God's big kitchen; He's cooking you up just for me. He's planning our meeting with so much tender care. I just know He's got it all worked out. I'm trying to learn all I can while I wait, oh so impatiently, for that first time when we'll gaze at each other and finally recognize why it has to take so long.

Your father and I are just practicing away at loving, playing, forgiving, laughing, and learning. We're preparing ourselves daily for you. We are so often praying and sometimes crying for you. We are dying to see you grow up, to see who you'll become and what you'll decide to be. We're praying you'll be strong and healthy and safe, but also full of adventure and wildness and joy. We're praying you'll change the world with your love, your passion, and your hard work. God is going to use you, my darlings.

He's already used you to change us. We're changing just thinking about you.

I'll be dreaming of you, my future-ones, and wishing and waiting for you.
I love you so much already.
Come quickly.

Mom

{seeing you soon}

This week is a bit chaotic and I haven't been keeping up in the blogging department.

I had a busy, delightful weekend due to a last-minute visit from my good friend Joanna. It involved lots of shopping, eating, coffee, and several hours of really good heart-to-heart chats. 

The week has been busy ever since, but tomorrow we're taking off on a road trip to visit first Phillip's family, and then mine! Almost all the people we love best in one whirlwind tour!

So I probably won't be back for a while.

I hope you all have a fabulous week! 

{weekend}

Have a beautiful weekend! Don't let it slip through your fingers
!

All I want to do...

                                                                             Source: pin2fun5567.blogspot.com via Daniella on Pinterest

                                                                              Source: fromainsleywithlove.blogspot.com via Daniella on Pinterest

                                                                                                     Source: wallpaperweb.org via Pink on Pinterest

                                                                                     Source: john-rizzuto.artistwebsites.com via Pietro on Pinterest

Whoever wrote that summed up my dream life perfectly!

Have a wonderful weekend!

dream

                                                                                       Source: highgatedreams.tumblr.com via Daniella on Pinterest

I haven't been sleeping very well the last couple nights. It's not a huge deal, but I must be stressed about something without really knowing it. Last night, I couldn't sleep because I was replaying a few of the day's events in my mind. And when I did go to sleep, this is what I dreamed.

I was climbing a mountain, but things kept getting in my way. Rocks kept falling in landslides, I kept running into people who tried to stop  me or people who I needed to help in the climb. And. AND. The biggest obstacle? Snakes. Every few feet, there were snakes of different breeds and colors and sizes and I had to kill them in order to keep climbing. And you all know how I feel about snakes. SCARY. It was a bad dream.

I finally got out of that dream and slept a bit. But after Phillip got up and before my alarm went off, I had another dream. 

It was the day before Brie's wedding. I was trying on every item of clothing in my closet in an attempt to find something to wear. (I have a dress, btw, so this is not a problem. crazy dream.) It took me so long to finally find a dress, that when I came out, I realized I had missed a bunch of the wedding activities, like the decorating and a bridal luncheon of some kind. Oops. Bad bridesmaid. Anyway, I started trying to help, and suddenly, a bunch of us, bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc. were trapped in a room that started to fill with water and strange objects. And we were being instructed by an evil voice. We had to fight our way out in order to survive, Hunger Games style. We were working together, fortunately, and not killing each other. Yet. When I woke up, I was jumping an impossible distance from a ledge on a wall across murky water to land on a raft full of my friends. Weird.

Anyway, I haven't got much else to say. I've had a busy couple days, but the next few should be filled with very little except house cleaning in preparation for my in-laws' visit this weekend and mailing some bridal-shower invitations. 

I haven't got much to say, obviously. I hope you enjoyed a glimpse into my strange dreams.

In the garden

                                                                         Source: bing.com via Daniella on Pinterest

Take me away to a world where this little house belongs to me! I personally would fill it with plants, not birds, because right now I have a hankering for a greenhouse, and this would be perfect!

                                                                                        Source: goo.gl via shelia on Pinterest

                                                                            Source: firsthome.tumblr.com via Alyssa on Pinterest

                                                                             Source: freecabinporn.com via Diane on Pinterest

                                                                       Source: dreamsicleday.tumblr.com via Annie on Pinterest

One of my neighbors down the street was selling a greenhouse (sans glass), and I desperately wanted to buy it, but it was just a little out of my league, especially considering its enormous size and the cost of glass.

However, I am absolutely dying over that greenhouse above that seems to be made of recycled windows! I love it sooo much! 

If anyone's listening, all I want for my birthday is old windows, please!

Maybe I could be satisfied with an itty bitty greenhouse. 

This, perhaps?

Crate and Barrel

{reasons to be happy}

I know Mondays often come before we're ready, and they often involve a lot of trouble. Everything seems to go wrong on a Monday, the skies are often gray, the traffic bad, tempers short.
But they are also such a marvelous chance for a new beginning!
So I'm trying to start my week out right, to cherish the week ahead, and to be happy.
After all, there are so many beautiful things to be thankful for!
Happy Monday!

In my {refrigerator} dreams

As you all know, Phillip and I are right in the middle of the home-buying process. Most of the homes in our area and price range will require some kind of repairs or updates. I've been researching kitchen renovations and trying to gather inspiration for the upgrades that will probably be in our future.

                                                                        Source: housetohome.co.uk via Daniella on Pinterest

                                                                     Source: fromgreenwich.tumblr.com via Daniella on Pinterest

                                                                            Source: designsponge.com via Mary on Pinterest

                                                              Source: mila-loveology.blogspot.com via Megan Nelson on Pinterest

                                                                       Source: hautemamasfaves.tumblr.com via Brie on Pinterest

I'm totally enamored with these bright, funky refrigerators!

In reality, we'll probably end up with the cheapest working fridge money can buy.

But a girl can dream, can't she?

{rather be}

                                                                                 Source: Uploaded by user via Daniella on Pinterest

                                                                         Source: designsponge.com via Daniella on Pinterest

                                                                     Source: matchbookmag.tumblr.com via Daniella on Pinterest

Wouldn't you?

Priority Numero Uno

                                                                        Source: pop-deco.tumblr.com via Yan on Pinterest

                                                                             Source: ffffound.com via Sharlyn on Pinterest

                                                                            Source: google.com via Jessica on Pinterest

I told you all last week that Phillip and I have been trying to make some major decisions. One of those decisions is whether or not to move out of the on-base housing, whether to get an apartment, rent a house, or buy a house. We've realized that we could buy a house and pay the same amount every month towards our mortgage as we now spend on rent. Suddenly, this place, which we do love for so many reasons, seems like a huge waste of money! If we move, I will definitely miss being on base. It's so safe to live behind the fence, so nice to have Phillip come home for lunch every day because work is 5 minutes away, so spacious here, and we have someone else to do our maintenance and yard work.

However, owning a home is a dream we both share. We like the idea that our money every month would go towards something more permanent than rent. And, as you all know, I love the idea of being able to customize and paint and change my house! Here, I'm even afraid to put too many holes in the walls!

So this past week, we've been scouring Zillow and making a list of homes we'd like to check out in our house-hunting process! I've got about 18 saved in my favorites list so far. And they all have something in common, the one thing that I absolutely hate about our current living situation 

Wood floors!

I really, really, really want wood floors! 

Or at least, non-carpet floors. I hate the white carpet here, how it opens directly onto the muddy backyard and is impossible to keep clean. 

Wood floors. They're at the very top of my list.

What is your number one priority when searching for a place to live?