A few weeks ago I updated you all on the exciting news that Phillip has joined the Air Force. I ranted a teeny bit about all the changes involved, but I've tried not to go overboard with the obsessive details and joys and fears of our new direction. But today, I haven't been able to think of anything clever or beautiful to write. I can mostly only think about this change.
One week from today, Phillip will be leaving for Basic Training. We have six more nights together before the long separation begins. We're trying to spend as much time as possible together, to talk and snuggle and iron out all the details. We're trying to pack up anything we won't need and make sure all his passwords and account numbers are written down for all the times that he can't be reached. We've been giving each other little "Christmas" gifts and eating Christmas candy.
For now, I am really doing OK with him leaving. At least, I think I am. Last week I actually felt worse. I cried uncontrollably for two days. I yelled. I skipped appointments. It wasn't pretty. But this week, I've felt fairly calm. Maybe I'm in denial. Maybe I am burying the feelings, and they'll come back or come out soon. I just know that, as opposed to last week, I know that I can do this. I can live for 3-10 months alone. I can find things to do and other people to lean on. I can be strong. I think.
So why am I writing all of this? Are any of you really interested? If you actually know me in person, would you rather just be updated in person?
I've been trying to decide if/how to blog about this part of my life. Should I start a separate blog to deal with my personal life and my feelings, and keep this space sacred to only the pretty parts, the design and fashion and beauty? Or should I write a weekly update on this blog to let you all know how I'm dealing, what I'm up to, but keep the other themes in tact? Should I let it all hang out and bombard you with my emotional crap? Should I save the more personal parts for my diary (um, maybe I should go buy a diary) and not infest the interwebz with this drama? But, I mean, it might not all be drama and crap, some of it might end up being interesting and good, right? That could make for a much more interesting blog, "The Diary of an Unwilling Air Force Brat...I mean Wife."
So really, I need your help! What kind of blog do you want to read? What kind of blog do I want to write? What to do?!
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
I just read to read what you say because you are far away from me and i miss you. so i will read anything you wish to write.
ReplyDeletelove you.
Hey! I found your blog not to long ago, and have kept up with it. I have enjoyed what you have had up, but would love to see what is going on in your life as well. I like both, I guess. :)
ReplyDeleteI have thought alot about you, so now I know how to be praying!
Hugs!
Rebecca H
I love to read your blog...but I can hardly find time to check up on one, let alone 2! So I vote for combining.. but my opinion doesn't count that much. You have to give your fans what they want! ;-)
ReplyDeletePS Congratulations on being the Blog of the Week for...that other blog! How exciting that everyone loves you! You will soon be famous...
Daniella,
ReplyDeleteWow. this is poignant. real life. I read somewhere recently that the two things that pierce the human heart are beauty and affliction. So true, isn't it? So with that in mind I vote for combining. I too just recently struggled with this dilemma and worried of scaring off my readers with all the junk in my life, but oddly enough they connected to it, to me. We bonded. I've had more traffic and comments (not that is what blogging is all about) but it sure helps to know that what you write is touching the hearts of others. it keeps us connected. Thank you for your honesty, your heart. Its a beautiful thing.
Well this is my first time here and I think it's a pretty interesting read. I haven't gotten any farther yet, but I'm sure I won't be disappointed. I like interesting stories and pretty stuff too. I say do both.
ReplyDeleteI think you should be able to combine too! While we are friends and live in the same city, for some reason we don't usually find the time to talk, and I do wonder how you are doing. So I think you should be allowed to voice your feelings and real life...It does create a connection outside of beautiful things (which you are also very good at sharing!)
ReplyDelete